Though it’s pretty obvious how Mario and Peach rock the casbah (I think), how do other characters in other videogame worlds squeak the bed? Luigi, sadly, is just enjoying watching his brother get nookie instead of doing the same thing to his boo. The Sims find a new toy to play with above their heads. And Chell from Portal somehow does not fall through the portal she’s sitting on. I mean sure there’s a guy there holding her on the other side, but her downward inertia should transfer to sideways inertia and make the guy holding her fa — Nevermind. But that Zelda. Link is one lucky, lucky hero.
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