Author Archives: xhipsterpanda

About xhipsterpanda

I have an affinity for deep v-neck t-shirts, bowties, cardigans and bright colored clothing. Professional wrestling critic. Dance game enthusiast. Movie, song and game reviewer. Everyday ranter. Twitter - xHipsterPanda Instagram - xhipsterpanda

HP Presents – People I Would Like to See in the WWE Hall of Fame

First and foremost, 2013 was an extremely hectic year for me.  I decided it was time to resume my education, so I enroll in graduate school, and studying for the Graduate Record Examinations ate up a HUGE chunk of my time.  I also participated in several 5K races, one of which resulted in injury.  The first semester of grad school balanced in with work proved to be an extremely busy task.  I also had my relationship status change from “In a relationship” to “Engaged”, and recently changed my living situation, living my fiancée.  In terms of pro wrestling in 2013, my interest kind of subsided for a while, in part of studying for the angry older brother of the SAT, and a super busy workload.

With the Ultimate Warrior (and his signature insane promos) and Jake “The Snake” Roberts getting inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year, it got me thinking of who I, and many others, would like to see finally get inducted.  I could have gone with a Top 5, but I felt narrowing it down to a small number along with ranking my choices would mean a lot of difficult cuts.

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Rasslin’ Rants – Royal Rumble 2013

Finally…The Rock has come back to part time wrestling!

Hello and welcome to another edition of Rasslin’ Rants.  So yeah, the Road to WrestleMania is officially underway with this past Sunday’s Royal Rumble PPV.  I want to get this out of the way and say this show wasn’t very good.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Royal Rumble (abbreviated RR for this article), it’s a 30-man over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets a WWE or World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania.    Seems like a good idea in theory, creating new main event people in the process, but that’s not always the case.  Sometimes, WWE uses this as an extremely lazy way of rehashing something from the past.  Such is the case for this event.  Anyways, here’s what I thought of the show.

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HP Reviews: Magic Mike

My sentiments exactly.

My sentiments exactly.

Have you seen Coyote Ugly or Showgirls? How about the music video for LMFAO’s Sexy and I Know It? If you answered YES to any of them, then you’ve already seen Magic Mike.

Well thanks for reading. Until next time…

Totally not buying it?  Want me to elaborate?  Fair enough. I saw Magic Mike…willingly.  As a matter of fact, I was the one who rented this movie for my girlfriend and I to see. Did I want to see it for the black hole of charisma known as Channing Tatum? HELL NO. I just know a bunch of people who watched it and wanted to see what they were touting as “the best movie EVER”.

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HP Countdown: Top Ten WTF Moments in WWE 2012

Hey guys (and gals).  Before I begin the second countdown, I forgot to elaborate on a few things.  First the new RAW theme.  If you listen to it closely, it kind of sounds similar to the song, “Remember The Name” by Fort Minor (a Linkin Park spin-off group).  And secondly, Brock Lesnar’s return ranking pretty high on the list.  Aside from throwing around John Cena and Triple H, Brock kicks peoples’ asses for realsies.  And where CM Punk and Daniel Bryan showed everyone there is still wrestling in a wrestling company, Lesnar added the extra edge from his time spent beating people up in UFC, and showed everyone that professional wrestling (and entertainment) can be pretty violent.  Also I neglected to mention Daniel Bryan becoming more of a mainstay on WWE television (he’s doing a lot more on television since 2012, whereas he was just kind of there for most of 2011…even with his Money In The Bank briefcase).

Back to the subject at hand.  With every Top (insert x-amount of positives here) list, people always want to see the contrast, and see what they disliked.  I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a nitpicker when it comes to wrestling, and find myself complaining about it more than I do praising it.  Seriously, my WTFs outline for this is at least TWICE as long as my FTWs one.  Now you may be asking, “Jon, if you complain about it so much, why do you keep watching?!”  The answer is at the end of the day, I’m still a wrestling fan.  I enjoy professional wrestling on an intellectual level.  I like reading dirt sheets on what goes on behind the scenes, as well as off camera.  Remember, these wrestlers/superstars play a character, and it’s always interesting to see how they act in real life.  I’m a fan of independent wrestling and their wrestlers.  Guys who are either just breaking into the business, have been in the independent scene for a while and are still waiting for a break, and the occasional former big timer either there as a way of putting butts in seats, or offering advice to the up-and-comers.  I’m a fan of companies like New Japan Pro Wrestling, Ring of Honor and Chikara where even though it’s wrestling, it’s still extremely entertaining.  To me, WWE just seems to water down the product (immensely) with the inane amounts of promos, using body builders and fitness models as their featured “talent” (wrestling ability not available in all), pushing guys who don’t really deserve it, and wrestling seeming to come last on a program that is supposed to be about wrestling.  In the past year (more so every year since 2005), WWE has left this smark (a smart mark) scratching his head in confusion.  Here it is, I bring to you, My Top Ten WTF Moments in WWE 2012!

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HP Countdown: Top Ten FTW Moments in WWE 2012

Happy new year everyone!  I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season.  With 2012 firmly in the rear view mirror, we often look back on the memories that have occurred over the past year…some good, and some bad.  I reflected on the past year in WWE, and what they accomplished and what they left us to scratch our heads at.  For the past couple of years, I’ve done a ranking system similar to “cheers” and “jeers”, but titled FTW (For The Win) and WTF (What The F**k) moments for the wrestling group I’m a part of, and I figured since I have a means of distributing my diatribes to an audience outside of Facebook, and the year just ended, why not do one of each for WWE in the past year.  Today, I present you with my personal list of FTW Moments in the WWE for 2012!

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Things I’ve Learned From Christmas Music

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Oh Christmas music.  How it always seems to almost never change, with the exception of the occasional new edition to the genre (which nowadays is like what, maybe one or two every couple of years?).  It seems like the genre is inundated with covers and rehashes of older songs.  I’ve spend a fair amount of time each season for as long as I can remember (I’m a very old man) listening to Christmas music.  From listening to it while riding in the car with my mother, to hearing it at every shopping center beginning in what seems late October, and even hearing it on my morning commute to work,  I’ve listened to A LOT of Christmas songs.  And after a while, I realized I started to analyze the lyrics to different Christmas songs.  So anyways, here’s what I’ve learned from Christmas music!

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Rasslin’ Reviews – TNA Final Resolution 2012

This might haunt your nightmares for a while.

This might haunt your nightmares for a while.

2012 was a rather interesting year for TNA.  The introduction to a biker gang stable, the rebirth of a fallen hero after a lengthy battle with substance abuse, and taking a chance on a guy who worked his ass of in the independents and put the world championship on him along with a bunch of other “new” material presented to wrestling fans.

One would figure that you would want to end the year on a high note.  Did TNA close 2012 with a bang?  Let’s find out with the review of Final Resolution!

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HP Recaps: Call of Duty: Black Ops II Midnight Launch

So I went to my first midnight launch of a video game tonight.  I’ve been wanting to go for a midnight release for a while, so I pre-ordered three games this year knowing one will have a guaranteed launch event, and relatively high hopes the others would have one as well.  Out of he three games of Resident Evil 6, Assassin’s Creed III, and Call of Duty: Black Ops II, my local Best Buy only did a release event for one…and ironically, it was for a game whose series I’ve logged a grand total of about 90 minutes playing.  I guess the other two didn’t get enough pre-orders to merit themselves a midnight launch at that store.

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Rasslin’ Reviews – WWE Hell In A Cell 2012

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Hey guys and gals.  It’s been quite a while since my last post.  Combining working a full time work schedule, exercise, spending time with my girlfriend, a vacation for Orlando, getting sick, and then combating being sick along with a hectic personal life kept me pretty busy.  And it didn’t help that I missed September’s WWE show, Night of Champions, due to the local sports bar/chicken wing establishment wasn’t showing the event.  And I feel that if I don’t watch the event, I don’t feel my opinions of the show can be genuine.  I also had to do a name change for my wrestling-related articles.

But I managed to watch WWE’s recent pay-per-view, Hell In A Cell online.  Without any further adieu, here we go!

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Ringside Rants: SummerSlam 2012

This contains quite a few spoilers for those of you who haven’t seen the show yet.  But anyways. here’s my recap and review of SummerSlam 2012!

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HP Compares: Taco Bell’s Cantina Bowl vs. Chipotle’s Burrito Bowl

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but sometimes, it’s not always the case.  At times, the clone is seen as an inferior product to the source material, lacking in various areas that makes the original a fantastic product.  I recently ventured to a local Taco Bell on my lunch break and saw they were advertising their brand new products, the Cantina Bowl and Cantina Burrito.  I had previously seen commercials and various adverts touting these new items, and at first glance, they looked strangely familiar to something else I had eaten before.  If you already know where I’m going with this, these new Cantina products are meant to be a blatant knockoff of rival company, Chipotle.  But I tend to be a sucker for new products, so I figured I’d give the Cantina Bowl a try.  Going back to my office with an empty stomach and an open mind, I anticipated chowing down on something similar to a product from a restaurant that is not within a reasonable driving distance from both my home and office.

As I ate my Cantina Bowl, my optimism slowly downshifted to a bittersweet feeling after each bite.  As I sat there chewing, I contemplated the comparisons between the original product to what I was consuming.  I thought about things like quality and presentation, taste and overall value of the products.

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Ringside Rants Vol. I – WWE Raw 1,000

Hello, and welcome to my new segment, Ringside Rants, your source for professional wrestling news and reviews.  I’m new to this so just bear with me.  Big shouts to James a.k.a. suikoinfinity and the folks at The Wired Fish for allowing me to come on board!

For my very first wrestling blog, I decided to review the landmark 1,000th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW.  So without any further pomp and circumstance, let’s get this bad boy going!

– We get a new signature, and new entrance video.  “Tonight Is The Night” by Outasight.

  • Thank you WWE for deciding to stop using Nickelback.

– New stage setup, it’s almost pay-per-view quality.

  • Also new logos and graphics
    • New lower-thirds (the nameplate on the bottom of the screen)

– Vince McMahon introduces Degeneration X – Shawn Michaels and Triple H

  • They bring out the other members of DX – Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, X-Pac
  • Typical DX self-introduction.
  • Get interrupted by Damien Sandow.  Who then eats Sweet Chin Music and Pedigree.

– This whole thing takes up about 20 minutes.

– Jim Ross is out on commentary…and he looks like the Big Boss Man.

– Match #1 – Six-man tag team match – Rey Mysterio,World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho and Alberto Del Rio.

  • Everyone gets involved, too much stuff goes on at once.
  • Ziggler aces Jericho.
  • Jericho eats Brogue Kick from Sheamus.
  • Winners – Sheamus, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio.
  • My Score 2/5.

– Apparently Jim Ross is only calling one match…LAME.

– Charlie Sheen on Skype…was he not allowed in the arena or something?

– AJ backstage with Layla.  They discuss wedding plans and how WWE is crazy…”Hacksaw” Jim Duggan appears, followed by R-Truth and Rowdy Roddy Piper…and Mae Young’s hand-child thing who’s all grown up.

– WWE whores themselves on another media platform…this week’s victim is Shazam.

  • My money is still on them whoring themselves out to Instagram…but they have Tout.

– Jack Swagger gets the jobber entrance…and he’s looking more like Gary Busey.

– Brodus Clay in a really gnarly looking American Flag old lady bathing suit along with Dude Love.

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