Tag Archives: Stupid

Wii U Titles Leaked By BlockBuster UK

As we come closer to E3 and the Wii U’s holiday launch, Joystiq reports that BlockBuster UK has leaked a picture of what appears to be launch titles for the Wii U. Besides the 10 in the picture up there, the lists goes deeper, showing titles in the Splinter Cell, Tekken, and Aliens franchises. For now, most of these names look like placeholders. Joystiq had updated their article stating that a former Blockuster employee on NeoGaf says that the titles upthere now are placeholders and that the list was formulated by the sales team. So far what we’re not sure of is which of these titles are launch titles and which aren’t. Some are pretty obvious, like Rayman Legends, Metro: Last Light, and Just Dance 4.

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Parent Freaks Out Over “Portal 2” Joke, Hachi Further Loses Faith in People

Source: 1up.com: http://www.1up.com/news/portal-2-adoption-jokes-controversial

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR PORTAL 2 AWAIT!

One would like to think that over time, the “plebs” would become more comfortable with the concept of video games as more than just blippy “shoot this, blow up that, save the princess” affairs, and have in fact come to realize that they are viable forms of entertainment for older audiences. Games nowadays have wonderful, intricate gameplay systems and are filled with complex, fascinating characters and riveting storylines to match the best Holywood or literature has to offer. Not all games are like this, mind you, but that’s the same for all forms of media. For instance, try to tell me that all books have wonderful storylines or fully justified existences, and I’ll direct you to any number of teenage-skewed dreck or faux “informational” books that clog our bookshelves like plaque in the arteries of the worlds collective intelligence.

Now I can make that herpes and heroin burger I've always wanted! Thanks, Morbid Chef!

However, no matter how far we seem to go, we always end up with alarmist morons who want to raise a big deal because a game engages in something other than “wholesome, family entertainment”. This incident is relatively minor, but is so symptomatic of the mental Dark Ages that people lock themselves in that I can’t help but get annoyed. The issues with this situation are manifold, so let’s start from the top.

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Anime Theater: Vampire Wars

Do you like this image? Good, because you won't be seeing it in the film.

They say that great art can be measured by the extremity of the response it elicits in the viewer. Although I can definitely see their point, I don’t agree with that since it makes for too broad a definition. This is why we get people who throw fresh produce at a canvas and call it art, which then further implies that any child with basic motor functions can create art.

But let us, for a second, assume that this definition is correct. If it is, then Vampire Wars might be the greatest work of art ever created. Why? Because it inspires such a strong feeling of revulsion that one cannot help but respond to it. It is repulsive to all six of the senses (yes, even the illusory “sixth sense” is damaged by this crap) and is a truly startling example of how to waste an hour of your life. Get ready, folks, this one is going to be a doozy.

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Peter Molyneux Promises the Moon and the Stars in Next “Fable” Game, Gamers Everywhere Chortle.

Oh Pete, you just don’t know when to quit, do you?

During an interview with CVG, Lionhead Studios…head (?) Peter Molyneux stated that, should the next “Fable” game come to fruition, it will stand as a shining paragon of drama, world creation, and storytelling, and will also cure cancer and make delicious milkshakes. Only two of those are lies…

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