Category Archives: Review

Anime Theater: Black Cat

God, they all look like they work at a 50's gay bar...and we wouldn't have it any other way...

Imagine, if you will, the final lap of a 10 lap footrace. In front, you have the gold medalist. He’s obviously going to win, as everyone suspected from the start. And about 10 feet behind him, you have the runner up. The silver medalist, the guy who never really had a chance of winning, but by maintaining his pace he’s shown himself to be a respectable contender. No one will argue that he’s as good as the guy in first, but he’s won a few fans in the audience, and will be remembered fondly.

So they approach the finish line. The first place runner crosses with elegence and ease. The second runner up is about 5 feet from the line. He then shits his pants and falls down. Everyone sees it. His pants dirtied by the tragedy that just took place, he gets up and stumbles over the line, still the runner up. And the audience cheers apprehensively. Yeah, he still came in second, and the rest of his run was great. But holy shit, that ending. It’s kinda hard to forget that he SHAT HIS PANTS AND FELL DOWN.

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Kung Fu Theater: Bloodsport

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Jean Claude Van Damm: kicking Chinese people in the throat since 1988

The “American Martial Arts Flick” is certainly a unique creature. It exists as an imitation of its China-born brethren, and is typically held in far lower regard by the general fandom. However, if one were to delve into the world of these misfit animals, they would find a fanbase there just as loyal as the legions of the Hong Kong faithful. And you might even find yourself growing a certain fondness for them as well, if you give it a chance. The way I see it, the American breed can almost be seen as the “store brand cereal” of the Martial Arts world. They lack mascots, uniqueness, and generally cannot recreate the combination of taste and texture that makes “Lucky Charms” and the like so popular. But in tasting it, you understand why there are fans of it, as the cereal has it’s own unique charm.

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Anime Theater: Afro Samurai

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Why do black guys always have such big swords?

In a world torn apart by violence, greed and death, one man wanders the desolate wastes on a mission of vengeance. His swordsmanship is unmatched by any of the hundreds who have challenged him, and his name is whispered fearfully in many a den of scum and villainy. Stopping nowhere, and proceeding ever onward toward his destination, his only companions are his sword and his fast talking counterpart. He is recognized by his dark skin, his cold, piercing eyes, and by his…gigantic black afro hairstyle, with a smidgen of green, of course.

Yup, that last part sure throws a wrench into things. Welcome to the world of Afro Samurai, where the baddies are brutal, the bitches are bangin’, and blood bathes the battlefield like a lackadasical hotel waitress spraying too much bleach on your end-table. The title alone seems too ludicrous to be accepted, and for a long time I myself had turned away from the show, expecting it to pander to the lowest common denominator. But if you look past the exploitative title, and are able to stomach a veritable cavalcade of sex and violence, then you will find an orgy of cool fights, cooler characters, great production values, and yes, even the occassional bit of depth.

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The Breakdown – Dissidia Duodecim: Final Fantasy

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Marvel vs. Capcom, Super Smash Bros., King of Fighters, Fighters Megamix, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe… what that do all these games have in common? Well my friend, they’re all fighting games! Obvious. But what separates games like these from your typical ilk of fighters is that these are the crossover ones. The fighting games that pair up characters from different properties to (sometimes team up and) beat the crap out of each other in the name of pleasing the fans. So it comes as no surprise that Final Fantasy would jump into the fray of crossover fighters. They’ve done it before. But this time around, it all about the Final Fantasy characters, and it’s not your typical Left Side/Right Side kind of fighter. Two years ago, Square released Dissidia: Final Fantasy, a fighting game that was one part Virtual On, one part Kingdom Hearts. You were free to move everywhere, and you customized your character as they leveled up. In the end, it only appealed to the Final Fantasy crowd, and critics panned the game for its limited fighting system. So how does this prequel, Dissidia Duodecim fix the issues of the old? Hit the jump to read on.

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Gamer Review: Bujingai: The Forsaken City

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Wow, Asia finally made a game set in Detroit!

Going back through my years as a gamer, I realize how much things have changed. Not in the industry, but in my own approach to the acquiring of them. Nowadays, like many, I can’t simply go out and buy any game that looks cool. It needs to have good scores, and enthralling gameplay videos, and all that good publicity stuff. Granted, I am not quite a slave to such things; I frequently take chances on lesser known gems and will ignore scores for certain games (*coughDynastyWarriorscough*), but the days where I would prowl the aisles at game stores and simply grab whatever caught my eye are long gone.

Rewind to 2005, when this habit was still very much alive, and was alternately screwing me or paying off gloriously. The time itself bears noting, as 2002-2005 was kind of a golden age for smaller, more oddball games coming to us, both in our country and from foreign shores. Some, like acid-trip classic Katamari Damacy, hooked their claws into gamers of all kens and became a known fixture. And then there are others that didn’t quite make it, like the subject of today’s review, Bujingai: The Forsaken City, an excellent example of the best (interesting gameplay, unique appeal) and worst (immensely flawed mechanics, sad excuse for a plot) of this age of legends.

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Anime Theater: Requiem From the Darkness

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From left to right: Nagamimi, Mataichi, Ogin, and Momosuke.

The anthology series is certainly an interesting creature. Relying on smaller, bite-sized stories, usually with little or no connection, this type of show relies on writing more than possibly any other type of series. In anime, the problem is exacerbated by the smaller episode counts (usually 12-24) and smaller budgets than most TV shows. Because of this, several shows of this type (most recently for me, “Ayakashi: Samurai Horror Tales”) tend to be decent, but not amazing. Some of them are downright awful.

But Natsuhiko Kyogoku’s “Requiem From the Darkness” is a unique gem even in this unique category. It is, ostensibly, an anthology of horror stories, each connected by a central cast of four characters and each one focusing on the myriad of awful things people are capable of doing. But unlike most of its ilk, Requiem carries itself with an interesting sense of style (and, dare I say it, a bit of swagger) that elevates it from “a solid horror series” to an altogether unusual experience all its own.

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Kung Fu Theater: Fight! Dragon! (aka Tatakae! Doragon!)

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Two rape faces, and what appears to be the opening to Japanese "Little House on the Praire".

While roaming the aisles at an FYE I frequent, my eyes came upon a most curious little treasure. A kung fu television show. Now, of course, such an idea is not unheard of. The classic David Carradine TV show aptly named “Kung Fu” is one of the most popular examples. And other shows like “The Green Hornet” had elements of Kung Fu in them, with that show having a pre-stardom Bruce Lee. But this item was different. It was a genuine production from Japan, and starred people who were (gasp!) actually Asian. The box proudly proclaimed that it was “available for the first time in the U.S.” and that it starred Bolo Yeung (most well known as Chong Li in Bloodsport) and Yasuaki Kurata (numerous Shaw Bros. movies and probably known to more modern audiences as the Kung Fu master Fumio Funakochi in “Fist of Legend“). After seeing that I could get my Kurata on, and that it cost only twelve dollars, I bought the show immediately.

Getting home, I realized a few things: First, the box art was…odd. It had a picture of Bolo, true, but it was one of him from Bloodsport. And there was some random dude who was not Yasuaki Kurata posing behind him. Moving on from that, I would find out that Bolo’s character lasts a mere 2 episodes of this 26 episode show. Despite these early issues, I can gladly say that “Fight! Dragon!” is one of the best investments I ever made, and is a grand example of schlocky, Kung Fu action at its best.

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Gamer Review: Gitaroo Man

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And this cover is the most normal aspect of the game.

Ah, the rhythm game. Nowadays, everyone knows the “Modern Music Genre” games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band. But there is a certain sense of sadness that washes over me when I remember the pre-Guitar Hero days. The sense of experimentation and new-ness that permeated the then-small genre is all but gone now, replaced by big plastic instruments and woefully similar sounds.

This is, of course, not to say that I don’t like them. I have had many a good time playing Guitar Hero (it’s almost a tradition to go a few rounds with my friends in III every year on my birthday), but consider the trailblazers of yesteryear: Parappa the Rapper, Space Channel 5, Samba De Amigo. So much creativity in every one of them, be it through strange play styles or just plain odd music choices. Today, we are going to talk about one that has both: a strange and challenging gameplay style and a selection of songs that must be heard to be believed. I am talking about the early 2000s cult classic, Gitaroo Man.

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The Breakdown – Okamiden

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Hello Fellow Fishes. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s time I bring back The Breakdown. Before starting The Wired Fish, I used to do reviews of games on DeviantART. My last review was The Conduit, which I reviewed July 27, 2009. At the time it was my only platform to do any form of blogging. But now, things have changed, and I have more tools at my disposal for writing something with a bit more pizazz. One thing that I stand by still is my review format. I detailed at one point how it works on dA, so go ahead and read it to get an idea of how The Breakdown works. To put simply, there is no overall score, only individual ones. And it is impossible for a section to get a perfect 10.

Anyways, onto the show at hand: Okamiden. This sequel to Okami’s been a long time coming. First appearing on the PS2, and then The Wii (complete with IGN’s Stamp of Approval), Okami was an amazing experience that I would never forget. Unfortunately, the game didn’t really sell well. It did garner a cult following though. What made matters worse for the possibility for a sequel to Okami is that 1) Clover Studios shut down, only to independently reopen as Platinum Studios. and 2) ReadyAtDawn, the guys that handled the conversion of the game from PS2 to Wii, went back to work to make another God of War game for the PSP. So things looked pretty grim for Okami fans. Then one day, Capcom revealed that Okamiden was being made, and it was for the DS. I, unlike many, welcomed the fact that it was a DS game, as now there is some tactile feedback with the celestial brush techniques (I’ll be getting to that later). So, Was all that worry for an Okami sequel worth it? Or did Chibiterasu piss on all of our hopes. Hit the jump to read the full review. Continue reading →

Gamer Review: Crash Twinsanity

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I'm sure I saw a Hentai like this once...

Crash Bandicoot. Merely saying the name will send many a gamers’ mind on a trip back to the 90’s, that golden age of platformers. From Croc to Spyro, the PSOne era was a cavalcade of platform hopping, level running, thing-collecting goodness. But not a one of these were as famous as Crash Bandicoot. Tight controls and an overabundance of personality made Crash stand out from the crowd, and even to this day, many will proclaim Cortex Strikes Back and Warped (the second and third games in the series respectively) to be among the finest games ever made in that venerable genre.

The story was simple enough. Doctor Neo Cortex is trying to take over the world, and thinks he’s found the perfect plan for acquiring help: to genetically modify a bandicoot named Crash. But Crash, as is typical of a heroic marsupial, decides instead to impede Cortex’s plans. With help from his brilliant sister Coco, and his magical tiki mask guardian Aku-Aku (it was the 90’s, don’t ask) Crash stands in the way of Cortex’s plans time and time again.

Luckily (or unluckily) Cortex has help on his end, in the form of a colorful rogues gallery of mutated monstrosities including: Tiny, the not so small mutant tiger, Ripper Roo, a clinically insane blue dog in a straight jacket, and Dingodile, an Australian dingo-crocodile hybrid with a penchant for flamethrowers. Cortex also had a revolving door of right hand men including the brilliant Doctor Nitrus Brio, a meek biochemical engineer with bolts in his head who becomes an off-and-on again ally to Crash, and Doctor N. Gin, a short unstable little scientist with a nuclear missile lodged in his head. Later on, an evil tiki mask (and evil younger brother to Aku Aku) named Uka Uka joins the fray, and brings even more strange underlings into the mix.

It was these memorable personalities that made the Crash games so fun to play. But, time marches on, and like most of the idols of that lost time, Crash faded into obscurity. His license was sold off and original developer Naughty Dog moved on to other things, such as Jak and Daxter and, more recently, the Uncharted series. But unlike the others of that era, Crash still survives, and his games are still coming out with appreciable regularity. As one would suspect, several of the games after the sell off sucked horribly, but something unusual happened in 2004. Travellers Tales, then the ones developing the games (not to mention existing in a time before they became slaves to the “Lego” series of games) released Crash Twinsanity to extremely low expectations.

And what was the response? The game was…actually kinda fun. Actually, it was pretty damn good (well, according to some reviewers). Crash wasn’t back to set the world on fire, but he did have the privilege of starring in one of the more solid and entertaining platformers of the post-Playstation era.

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Anime Theater: Vampire Wars

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Do you like this image? Good, because you won't be seeing it in the film.

They say that great art can be measured by the extremity of the response it elicits in the viewer. Although I can definitely see their point, I don’t agree with that since it makes for too broad a definition. This is why we get people who throw fresh produce at a canvas and call it art, which then further implies that any child with basic motor functions can create art.

But let us, for a second, assume that this definition is correct. If it is, then Vampire Wars might be the greatest work of art ever created. Why? Because it inspires such a strong feeling of revulsion that one cannot help but respond to it. It is repulsive to all six of the senses (yes, even the illusory “sixth sense” is damaged by this crap) and is a truly startling example of how to waste an hour of your life. Get ready, folks, this one is going to be a doozy.

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Review: Pokemon Black and White (Black Version)

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If you know me, then you know how I feel about the Pokemon games. I’ve been playing Pokemon since Blue came out, and back then I loved every second of it. Battling with my friends, becoming the pokemon league champion, and catching every single pokemon were all parts of this great pokemon journey.

Then as the games kept coming, I slowly started to feel less and less enthusiastic with each new release. Eventually, it came to the point where I started to grow tired of the series, as it felt like more of the same. Sure, there were new pokemon and additions to the games, but ever since Gold, the magic was gone. I wasn’t going to play Pokemon Black/White, but a friend convinced me to give it a try and now here I am, after 50 in-game hours, about to talk about how Pokemon Black made me feel like that young boy who first embarked on his journey to become a pokemon master.

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Marvel Vs Capcom 3 Review

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Sound

First let’s start with the soundtrack. The game offers a lot of cool remixes to the old school, and newer versions of mvc, mvc2, and street fighter franchise soundtracks. Some of these tracks do go unappreciated because the sounds characters make are much to loud to appreciate the soundtrack. For example, Guilty Gear is, in my opinion, the only fighting game that really has a perfect balance of stage music and character sounds. Fortunately Capcom has provided a nice gallery mode that allows game music enthusiast a chance to listen to all the tracks.

Graphics

The game isn’t lacking in the graphics department at all. When I originally saw the style, I was very worried that the Capcom characters wouldn’t fit the comic book art style. However, from Amatarastsu to Zero look amazing. The art style is a new take on the water color style that appear in games like: Ultimate Spiderman and Prince of Persia 2008. I am even more impressed that the art style stays consistent; even during an insane hyper combo. Characters aside, the stages are a huge step up from mvc, and mvc2. The stages are composed of active sceneries that are detailed down to the rocks on the walls.

Gameplay

I hope you brought out the popcorn folks, and don’t forget the salt because I have a ton of things to say on this section. When I had first learned of the simplified, Tasunoko-esq, button system, I was highly dissapointed. Now that I have played the game for some time, I am even more dissappointed. I understood that capcom wanted to take a new approach to the way MVC3 would be played. But I find the button system the equivalent to playing ddr with your hands. Even in mission mode, most combos are composed of this ‘tap tap tap’ combos that are cool to look at but boring to execute. Mission mode further supports my point because if you into the Mission for every character, they have the same beginner combos. The only variation lies in the later combos, which only change because everyone has different supers. Unlike in mvc2, most people will be executing their combos like the next guy.

When gamers first pick up the game, everything will be new and exciting; however, this feeling quickly fades when gamers comprehend on the mechanics and realize that every match will almost be played the same way. Everyone comes out like metaknight from Smash Brothers Brawl; guns blazing and constantly repeating the same moves over and over again with little to no variation. Now if the person is winning, they will continue with their metaknight strategy. If they are losing, they turn into chungli from Super Street Fighter 4; an aggressive turtler. This is mainly due to the fact that majority of the cast can operate from almost full screen. I would go through the whole cast, but I will just mention the most popular characters: Arthur, Taskmaster, Storm, Sentinel, Modok, Magneto, dr doom, trish, hsien -ko, deadpool, and dante. Furthermore, even characters that you would think would not have this ability; have some shape or form of it. For example, Captain America and his annoying ass shield.

I do have something good to say about the fighting system, but it isn’t what most people would expect. The timing of execution is much stricter and I do appreciate that.

Replay Value

Ironically, this game has a pretty high replay value. But, not the kind we are used to from Capcom. He replay value of this game is more like Final Fantasy and Dragonquest, rather than Street Fighter 4. This game is great to play if you would like to collect things and unlock all the goodies in the gallery section.

Final Thoughts:

Overall the game is definitely worth playing and purchasing. In the long run, this game will not live up to the hype and glory of MVC2, but it will have an amazing run. Recently Capcom patched the game. With this patch, Sentinel has lower health, and Akuma’s infinite has been removed. This shows me Capcom has high expectations for this game and that they are listening to their fans. But this in conjunction with the boring combo system, the game might end up only being enjoyable with frequent updates and content additions. Not that this is an overall bad thing. I just was expecting a more complete game; especially from Capcom.

Anime Theater: Monster

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NOTE: THIS ANIME WAS WATCHED IN ENGLISH DUBBED FORM, AND WILL BE REVIEWED AS SUCH.

Well, I'm sure this will be a laughter-filled funfest...

What is the measure of a good person? Of a good deed? Of a good life? Is any one life worth more than another? What makes a person a complete monster? Is anyone ever truly irredeemable? And perhaps most distressingly, is there ever a time where it is acceptable to take anothers life?

From 1994-2001, Naoki Urasawa’s Monster worked towards answering all these questions and more. And from April 2004 to September 2005, an Anime adaptation was aired on NTV, and will be the subject of this review. An incredible work of dark, mature fiction that dips its hands into almost every moral dilemma imaginable, Urasawa’s black saga of violence, terror and regret is quite possibly Anime’s greatest counter to anyone who would dismiss the artform as “silly”, “immature” or “generic”.

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Kung Fu Theater: Gallants (2010)

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Yeah, these are our heroes. AKA the coolest old people you will ever see.

Note: This review will contain minor spoilers. Nothing you couldn’t see in the trailers, but if you want to be completely surprised by what you see, then don’t read until after you have watched the film.

There’s an old, very popular saying :”You can never go home”. For those who are extremely thick or just don’t want to think too hard about it, the quote is (for my purposes) talking about the unstoppable march of time, and how no matter how much we might want to return to certain periods in our life, we cannot, and must simply accept that.

Even sadder, this refers to the mundane as well as the temporal. In gaming, I’m sure everyone reading this has had the experience of trying to play an old favorite, anticipating a repeat of that glorious initial rush, and were crushed to find that their rose tinted memories were nearly incommensurable with what was before them. Sure, it was probably still fun, but was still a mere shadow of the ecstasy they once provided.

This proves true of movies as well. For the purposes of this review, let us talk about how it affects Kung Fu flicks. Now, it is true, Kung fu movies actually can weather the test of time better than most. Good action choreography is still good whenever it’s watched, and the classic stories and character types still provide just as much joy as they did in the lost days of yore. But despite the well aged aesthetics, the soul that was so paramount to these movies, that impalpable enthusiasm and spirit, faded with the mid-80’s.

So what does this have to do with Gallants? Because, of all it’s many achievements, the best thing it did for me is showing that, even though you can’t go home permanently, you can still visit a lost time, if only for a few hours.

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