When Super Smash Bros. 4 was set to launch for the the next generation of platforms, we hoped for the possibility of new fighters arriving in the form of DLC. We’ve wanted something like this since Brawl, however such a thing would not happen or just not be feasible. But with Smash 4, we’ve now been graced with four DLC fighters: Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, and Ryu. And for the first time ever, Nintendo has opened the floodgates and is letting the entire world vote for their favorite characters to be added as a fighter to SSB4’s roster. The Smash Fighter Ballot had already concluded on Saturday, October 3rd, 2015. But figured I might as well share who I feel would be a great addition the Smash roster. So hit the jump to see who my picks are.
The Pushmo community got a little bit of rebirth with the introduction of a Miiverse community for it last week. And thanks to Miiverse’s feature of letting users post screenshots of their gameplay, primary among the screenshots were QR codes of the puzzles others created. Since I had some, I posted a few. No no, not the NSFW ones, those babies stay here (I’ll get banned either way if I tried). I’m talking about the Metroid pushmo I made, which garnered over 20 Yeahs on Miiverse. After posting the Metroid, a little flame got re-lit in me to make more pushmos. I starting sharing some more of the clean pushmos I made, along with a few new ones. This eventually led to me making a bunch from Castlevania.
Super Smash Bros 4. (if you haven’t noticed the sly pun) was finally revealed during Nintendo’s E3 Direct presentation this year. Along with some returning favorites, we were acquainted with a few new faces. Since the initial E3 trailers, we’ve had a steady stream of info coming in from both the Miiverse SSB Community and the official SSB4 website, and with them some more veterans. So, who’s been revealed so far? Hit the jump and let’s review.
What have I done? What… have I… done? I’ve taken the most vibrant, colorful, innocent puzzler in recent memory, and turned it into the raunchiest, pervy, most “problematic” game in my collection… and I like it! Reminding me a bit of Catherine, Pushmo is a puzzle game where you push and pull blocks of varying shapes to get to the top of the puzzle (or wherever else the goal is). One of the modes this game offers is a puzzle creator, with creation assets reminiscent of Mario Kart DS and F-ZERO GX, Animal Crossing, and Mario Paint. And so I took to the mode to try and make something. I had no idea what to make, until I remembered back to an old emblem I made in F-ZERO GX. The emblem in question was a red-headed character I once drew way back when, but with her breasts exposed. Sadly, I don’t have the means to extract that emblem out of the Gamecube memory card (nor do I know if that card went missing).
And so off I went to recreate this red-headed, big-boobed lady. I opted to not do the obligatory penis level since, well, I don’t do penis levels. Also, it’s kind of a given when you give players the option to create something in videogames. So I made boobs, the one human organ that’s been somewhat ignored in the creation scene. One share with James later, and this became a weekend that filled my time with pixels, puzzles, and lots and lots of boobs.
It goes without saying that the following article is Not Safe For Work. So if you’re there, wait ’til you get home (or for your boss/supervisor/Computer Overlord to not look). If you’re under the the age of 18, look elsewhere. The Wired Fish Network is not responsible for the ass beating you’ll probably get should you choose to scan these QR Codes.
I Stand On My Soapbox is a series of editorials that cover more specific topics in the games industry and community. These articles are a little more extreme than normal editorials published here, and could just degenerate to outright ranting. Have fun and enjoy the show!
Okay, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. This is about Metroid: Other M, the one game many consider the only bad game in the Metroid canon. When it was released, it set the entire Nintendo, and gaming, world on fire, and for all the wrong reasons. Many did not like the submissive portrayal of Nintendo’s intergalactic bounty hunter, Samus Aran, in this this game. From the trailers and gamplay footage preceding the release, this looked to be Nintendo biggest game yet, and they would be teaming up with Tecmo’s Team Ninja (from Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden fame) to make this happen. A lot of gamers were anticipating this game. But once it was released, the flame wars ensued. You had people defending the game, berating it, wanting Team Ninja and Tecmo to burn in hell, etc. Much of the derision came from how poorly written the story of the game was and how much of a black eye it gave the Metroid franchise. Gamers had their reasons to dislike the story, and I’m not here to defend Metroid Other M. However if there’s one thing that was wrong with the story, it’s that this was, in no way, Team Ninja’s fault.