Author Archives: Steven

About Steven

Editor-In-Chief of The Wired Fish since 2010. Suggestions, praise, and hate mail can be sent to steven@thewiredfishnetwork.com

[E3 2013] Sony Press Conference Live Reaction

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Some would say Sony had a rather lackluster reveal of their PS4. Some say they had a better one due to Xbox One’s reveal and post-show PR being a travesty. We’ve seen the games, we’ve seen the controller, and we’ve seen some of the plans that Sony has with the PS4. However, in light of the things Xbox One is doing (namely limiting used games and required internet connection), there’s still some unanswered questions. Will Sony answer them? Will we see some cool games? Will they finally announce something regarding The Last Guardian!?

The Sony Conference begins at 9:00PM EST. The above embed is a live reaction of us watching the conference.

Rare Is Not Developing Killer Instinct 3

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Not sure whether to call this a good thing or a bad thing. While the hype took over our senses, we missed another logo at the end of the trailer that accompanied Rare Ltd. and Microsoft Studios, Double Helix. Who’s Double Helix? Well, they’re the the culmination of Foundation 9, The Collective, and Shiny Entertainment, the latter of which are known for their work on Earthworm Jim. While being involved with Shiny Entertainment might be a good thing, their track record lacks fighting games and is less than stellar.

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Let’s Watch That Crimson Dragon Trailer Again, This Time With SOUND!

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If there was one massive embarrassment at the Xbox conference, it had to be the muted audio that occurred not once, but twice! While Battlefield 4 got a second wind, Crimson Dragon didn’t get the chance. So here we are, watch the trailer like it was intended. Gotta say, shame on Microsoft for botching a trailer with some beautiful music.

Crimson Dragon – Xbox One Announce Trailer [Youtube]

DuckTales Remastered Footage Shows Cutscenes, Updated Music, And The Old King’s Back Scratcher

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The guys over at IGN posted two videos on WayForward’s upcoming DuckTales Remastered. Scrooge still played like he always did in the original, fighting back using the Pogo cane and swinging it like a golf club. The stage shown above is Transylvania. WayForward’s interpretation of the game puts some context as to why Scrooge’s nephews are scattered all over the castle. We also see a little bit of the boss fight against Magica. If you want to see the boss fight in full (and played horribly by the people attending PAX East), refer to our previous article.

Amazon stage after the break.

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A Weekend With Pushmo (NSFW)

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What have I done? What… have I… done? I’ve taken the most vibrant, colorful, innocent puzzler in recent memory, and turned it into the raunchiest, pervy, most “problematic” game in my collection… and I like it! Reminding me a bit of Catherine, Pushmo is a puzzle game where you push and pull blocks of varying shapes to get to the top of the puzzle (or wherever else the goal is). One of the modes this game offers is a puzzle creator, with creation assets reminiscent of Mario Kart DS and F-ZERO GX, Animal Crossing, and Mario Paint. And so I took to the mode to try and make something. I had no idea what to make, until I remembered back to an old emblem I made in F-ZERO GX. The emblem in question was a red-headed character I once drew way back when, but with her breasts exposed. Sadly, I don’t have the means to extract that emblem out of the Gamecube memory card (nor do I know if that card went missing).

And so off I went to recreate this red-headed, big-boobed lady. I opted to not do the obligatory penis level since, well, I don’t do penis levels. Also, it’s kind of a given when you give players the option to create something in videogames. So I made boobs, the one human organ that’s been somewhat ignored in the creation scene. One share with James later, and this became a weekend that filled my time with pixels, puzzles, and lots and lots of boobs.

It goes without saying that the following article is Not Safe For Work. So if you’re there, wait ’til you get home (or for your boss/supervisor/Computer Overlord to not look). If you’re under the the age of 18, look elsewhere. The Wired Fish Network is not responsible for the ass beating you’ll probably get should you choose to scan these QR Codes.

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Mighty Switch Force 2 Ready To Switch It Up Next Week

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Now isn’t this a big surprise. Last we heard about Mighty Switch Force 2, developer WayForward said in early May that development was a wrap and what was left was “testing, testing, and more testing.” While also alluding to finals season for colleges, actual game testing varies from game to game. But now it looks like that phase has finished and the game is set for release.

Mighty Switch Force! 2 Trailer

Dragon’s Crown Voicepack DLC Free For the First Month

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Want a reason to have the Sorceress narrate your journey like it’s sponsored by Vodafone? Well you might be in luck. Atlus has confirmed that for the first month of Dragon’s Crown’s release, the Character Narration voice pack will be free. With this voice pack, the character you pick for your journey will narrate the story instead of the regular narrator. Not quite sure which parts have narration, but a good guess would be when you enter a dungeon and the narrator tells the stories pertaining to that dungeon.

This will apply for all six playable characters. It’s unknown what language the voice pack will be.

After the month is over, the DLC will cost $1.99

Dragon’s Crown DLC Replaces Game’s Narrator With The Six Characters [Siliconera]

Director of El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron Takes Back His Game From UTV Ignition

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Living up to the memetic mutation of the game’s hero, Enoch, El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron may have some life left in it. Sawaki Takerasu, the game’s director, stated that he wanted to “develop a potential El Shaddai business moving forward.” A sequel perhaps? Well, given the game’s influence and biblical story of a certain… “snappy” character, an El Shaddai sequel was bound to happen. However, the game’s publisher, UTV Ignition, faced an uncertain future.

The story of UTV Ignition is one that’s involved many parties, including Atlus, Vanillaware, and Disney. Back in early 2012, Disney had acquired the Mumbai based UTV, the parent company of Ignition Entertainment. Afterwards, the fate of many of UTV Ignition’s games were up in the air. UTV briefly showed life when it published Magical Drop V, but Dragon’s Crown was in danger. Atlus stepped in to help Vanillaware finish Dragon’s Crown and is now slated to release the game on August 6th.

That leaves El Shaddai, one of the only games Ignition both developed and published. While Disney owning UTV could’ve meant more funding Ignition, we have yet to see that happen. With Ignition’s increasing irrelevance, El Shaddai could’ve very well gone down with the ship. There’s also the fact that Disney has a sort image that some would call rather conservative, unfitting for a game like El Shaddai. But now there’s no problem since the director has his game back, so everything’s fine.

El Shaddai director acquires IP rights from previous publisher [Eurogamer]

Top 50 Most Wacky Bootleg Boxarts: PS1 Edition

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After about three months of waiting for the SyrianGames website come back, I’ve now returned with even more wacky bootleg boxart, this time from their PS1 catalog. Now, an odd thing occurred after that last article was published. After some gaming outlets posted articles about how crazy their boxarts were, SyrianGames went into a sort of Admin mode where only the site runners could access it. Afterwards, the syriangames.com URL redirected visitors to their Facebook page. This probably meant that 1) they wanted to hide their shame, and 2) they took the site offline.

So how do I have more boxarts to show? Well, for some odd reason several weeks back, their old site was back online. I found this out I checked out my old article (for kicks) and wondered if the site came back. I took the opportunity to look at their PS1 catalog and pick out the funniest ones from the bunch. Good thing I did it too since their URL is once again redirecting to their Facebook page.

Anyway, let’s end this little tangent. Hit the jump and check out the PS1 Edition of the Top 50 Wacky Bootleg Boxarts.

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EA Senior Engineer Takes To Twitter, Calls Wii U “Crap”

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Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Once again the micro-blogging platform rears its ugly head, potentially putting someone’s career on the line. EA Senior Engineer Bob Summerwill took to Twitter today to start a little mini rant against the Wii U. Speaking to Scott Hanselman, who simply asked a question, Summerwill took this opportunity to vent about some of the Wii U’s shortcomings, namely the lack of games on the console since the beginning of this year (though that could change). He kicked off his tirade with “The Wii U is crap. Less powerful than an Xbox 360, poor online/store. Weird tablet. Nintendo are walking dead at this point.” The tweets have since been deleted. But IGN has screencaps of them for the public to see.

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Nintendo Direct 5.17.2013 Recap: Info On New Sonic Game, New Pikmin Characters, And “E3 For The People”

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Another Nintendo Direct has gone by this morning. It wasn’t long, but it offered some new info on games we already knew about, namely some release dates on long awaited games. There were a couple of reveals too involving Sonic The Hedgehog. Before we jump, let’s talk about the teaser image up there. It’s from the next game in the Sonic series, titled Sonic: Lost World. So what exactly are we seeing there? Well there’s Sonic on top of the Tornado (most likely piloted by Tails). But then there’s this fractured globe, connected by hexagon-shaped landmasses. There’s some aquatic areas, some plains, a forest, an ice cap, and volcanic areas. There’s also two desert-like areas, probably one resembling a standard desert and the other a more rugged, American-styled desert.

Iwata states that Nintendo is partnering with Sega for this venture. It’s not certain how deep this venture goes, but we do know that Sonic: Lost World will be exclusive to the Wii U and 3DS.

More on Nintendo Direct after the break.

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How Do Videogame Characters Make Whoopie? This Video Has The Answers

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Though it’s pretty obvious how Mario and Peach rock the casbah (I think), how do other characters in other videogame worlds squeak the bed? Luigi, sadly, is just enjoying watching his brother get nookie instead of doing the same thing to his boo. The Sims find a new toy to play with above their heads. And Chell from Portal somehow does not fall through the portal she’s sitting on. I mean sure there’s a guy there holding her on the other side, but her downward inertia should transfer to sideways inertia and make the guy holding her fa — Nevermind. But that Zelda. Link is one lucky, lucky hero.

Be sure to click the closed caption button for English subtitles.

SURICATE – La Vie Sexuelle des Jeux Vidéo / Sex in Video Games [Youtube, via RuinedChildhood]

[Rumor] Microsoft To Replace Its Monopoly Money With Real Money For Marketplace Purchases

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Please please please let this rumor come true. Ever since the beginning of the Xbox 360’s lifecycle, owners had to deal with Microsoft’s choice of using a points system instead of prepaid cards or a digital wallet with real dollar amounts. At first, it wasn’t too bad, but Microsoft’s method of conversion from U.S. dollars to Microsoft Points became a pain in the ass. With MS Points, full dollars come in multiples of 80 (or if you want to simplify, turn 80 into an 8). So 80 MSP = $1, 160 MSP = $2. By that account, 800 MSP = $10, 1600 MSP = $20. Sadly, not everything in the Marketplace have easily convertible asking prices. This conversion was worse in other places like the UK, Japan, and Canada (though this made some things in the U.K. cheaper).

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Rejoice! Dragon’s Crown Artbook Is A Pre-Order Bonus In The U.S., Guest Starring Three Veteran Capcom Artists

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Yes! Booyah! Go baby go! Woooooo! USA! USA! USA!

Ahem… pardon my lack of professionalism (and constant fellating of Dragon’s Crown). So then, it’s confirmed that the artbook Japanese gamers get when they pre-order Dragon’s Crown will also be available for U.S. fans as well. Judging from the image above, it looks to be a soft cover if the the sort of “depth” of the spine is anything to go by.

Vanillaware games have been really deserving of an artbook, and and we’re finally getting one. Along with George Kamitani’s art and concepts, other popular artists have contributed to the book too with their interpretations of the Dragon’s Crown cast. They include Code of Princess artist Kinu Nishimura, Darkstalkers artist Akira Yasuda (aka Akiman), and Street Fighter/MvC veteran artist BENGUS.

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Grant Kirkhope Explains Mumbo Jumbo’s “Oominaka” Line (It Involves His Swollen Balls)

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Yes, you read that right. Balls. Let’s talk about Grant Kirkhope’s balls today. Sorry if this is really late for some, but I just saw this episode some days ago. So then, in a recent episode of Game Grumps — a collab between JonTron and Egoraptor — they had former Rare composer Grant Kirkhope on as a guest as they played a selection of N64 games he worked on. Along with composing music, Kirkhope also did the sound design for some of these games, including some voice work as well.

Many know Mumbo Jumbo from Banjo-Kazooie. With Mumbo Jumbo, much of his spoken lines were generated randomly on a syllable by syllable basis, picking from a pool of samples for him. “Ikambokem” was one such line that was formed from this randomization. Some were also full, used for specific actions performed by Mumbo. “Oominaka” is Continue reading →